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KARLA'S PREACHING PAGE

HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH TRAUMATIC EVENTS

When a traumatic event comes at children such as the earthquake and the following tsunami, even though far away, the impact on them is very real.

The images they repeatedly see on TV affect them in a profound way. As adults we are able to remember that this image is a repeat but in a child's perception the event shown over and over is happening again and again.

As adults we are usually better able to acknowledge our feelings of fear, sadness, loss and outrage and to find ways to cope or help. Talking with our spouses, family and friends is an important way that we as adults work trough our feelings. Children are less able to verbalize their feelings although they are likely just as upset as we are by what they have seen or heard. Children want to feel powerful and in control of their lives. They also want to feel safe and secure, protected by the grown-ups around them. Traumatic events challenge those needs and undermine a child's sense of security, creating a feeling of fear and vulnerability. Parents and teachers may notice behaviors in their children that are specific reactions to such events. It is important to realize that such behaviors are normal reactions and that we can and must help children deal with their feelings.

Sometimes you will notice a fear where there was none before, such as a fear of strangers, a sudden fear of the dark, or a fear of separation. Other children may revert to behaviors that have not been present for many months such as loss of potty control. They may have nightmares. Another child may be aggressive on the playground or with siblings as a way of feeling powerful and denying his feelings of vulnerability. Some children may "contain" their feelings and have physical symptoms such as a tummy-or-headache. Still other children may become unusually quiet and withdrawn and be unwilling to talk about what they are feeling.

Here are some ways that we as teachers and parents can help our children:

Play together: Often a child will tell you what's bothering them by the way they choose to play a game. Puppets and stuffed animals are given a voice which allow children to express scary feelings in a safer way. At school we use the sand-tray and the people with it to "read" and redirect frightening themes.

Be honest: Let you child know how you feel. Talk about your sadness that so many people were hurt. Be a role model by letting you child know that it is OK to have a variety of feelings and express them. Use language that your child can understand to explain what and how it happened.

Be reassuring: Let children know that you understand that life can seem really scary sometimes but that you are powerful and will do any-and everything possible to keep them safe. Talk with your children about ways you make sure that it is as safe as possible. Empower them by giving them some ideas on how they can keep themselves safe as well. Simply spending time with your child, doing a chore around the house together is always comforting and reassuring to a child that things are "the same".

Last but not least, do a lot of hugging and cuddling together. Nothing reassures a child more than physical contact.